Everyday Mails and Miles

> You really should've been there for the New Year's celebration. Check out this iNSANE pic I took. http://c16ac-t.image-myspace.info:85/Archive/k49sa40/DVC-PartyPicture023.JPEG.zip

Enjoy and have fun! Here are some of the best

"SOBRANG CHEESY QUOTES".

Laugh til you drop.

1. Kumain ka ba ng asukal? Ang tamis kasi ng ngiti mo.

2. I'm a bee, can you be my honey?

3. May lahi ka bang keyboard? Type kasi kita.

4. Papupulis kita! Ninakaw mo kasi puso ko.

5. Are you a dictionary? Cause you add meaning to my life.

6. I lost my number. Can I have yours?

7. I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?

8. Ice ka ba? Crush kita, okay lang?

9. Sweswertihin ka sa pagibig ngayong taon, pag naging akin ka.

10. Meralco ka ba? Pag ngumiti ka kasi may spark.

11. Bangin ka ba? Nahulog kasi ako sa'yo.

12. May butas ba yang puso mo? Natrap kasi ako, can't find my way out.

13. Pustiso ka ba? Kasi I can't smile without you.

14. Nabibingi ka na ba? Coz my heart has been screaming out your name for quite some time now.

15. Tapos na ba ung exam mo? Para ako naman sagutin mo.

16. Ok lang na ako ang magbayad ng tuition fee mo? Basta pag-aralan mo lang
akong mahalin.

17. Alam mo ba na scientist ako? At ikaw yung LAB ko.

18. May lisensya ka ba? Coz you're driving me crazy.

19. May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo? May sira ata relo ko. Pag ikaw
kasi kasama ko, humihinto ang oras ko.

20. Aanhin pa ang gravity, kung lagi lang akong mahuhulog sa iyo?

21. Mahilig ka ba magluto na pancit canton? Kasi pag kasama kita, feeling
ko, "LUCKY ME."

22. Am i a bad shooter? Coz i keep on missing you.

23. Kung posporo ka at posporo din ako, eh di MATCH tayo.

24. Favorite subject mo ba geometry? Kasi kahit anong angle, ang cute mo.

25. Kapag ako may tindahan, lahat ng tao bebentahan ko ng mura, sayo lang
hindi, dahil sayo lang ako magmamahal.

26. Alarm clock ka ba? Ginising mo kasi ang natutulog kong puso eh.

27. Pwede ka bang makatabi pag may exam? Cause i feel perfect beside you.

28. May mapa ka ba diyan? Para alam ko ang daan papunta sa puso mo.

29. Excuse me! Miss alam mo ba yung kasabihan ng mga Pilipino?
"Aanhin pa ang damo, kung sayo pa lang may tama na ko."

30. Di ka ba nahihirapan sa sitwasyon natin? Hanggang friends na lang ba
tayo?

31. Kung pumanaw man ang Selyang naging irog ni Balagtas, ngayon nakita ko
na ang isang (name of girl), na magbibigay sa akin ng kasiyahan o
kabiguaang aking inaasam asam, (name of girl) wag mo sanang palubugin ang
araw sa tanghaling tapat, tumingin ka sa aking mata at sabihin mong hindi
mo ako mahal, at habang buhay kitang lulubayan.

32. Pagod ka na noh? Maghapon ka na kasing tumatakbo sa isip ko.

33. Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop. Bagay tayo! Bagay!

34. Minamalat na nanaman puso ko. Paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan
mo!

35. Uy papicture tayo para ma-develop tayo!

36. Can I take your picture? Coz i want to show Santa exactly what I want
for Christmas!

37. Centrum ka ba? Kasi you make my life complete!

38. Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar? Kasi single kasi ako!

39. Umutot ka ba? Kasi you blew me away!

40. Sana T na lang ako, para I'm always next to U.

41. Great person, ikaw yan. Great friend, ikaw rin yan. Great looks, sa'yo
talaga yan. Great heart, sa'yo pa in yan. Great taste, sobra ka na. KAPE na
yan.

42. Kahapon nasaktan ako nung makita ko siya, di na niya kasi ako kilala
pero nung tinitigan ko siyang mabuti, na-realize ko di ko din pala sya
kilala. Kaya naman pala.

43. Aanhin pa ang alak kung sa akin pa lang, tinatamaan na sila.

44. Siguro magaling kang mag-CPR kasi napatibok mo ulit ang puso ko!

45. Camera ka ba? Kasi you make me smile.

46. Noong minahal kita, talo mo pa ang traffic sa EDSA. I CANT MOVE ON!

47. You're like dandruff. I can't get you out of my head.

48. Eraser ka ba? Kasi binura mo ang masasamang ala-ala ko.

49. Pwede ba kitang maging driver? Para ikaw na magpatakbo ng buhay ko.

50. BOY: Is this seat taken? GIRL: NO, and so am I.

51. Is your dad a terrorist? Coz you're the BOMB baby!

52. Excuse me, alam mo ba kung anong oras na? Tumigil kasi ang mundo nang
makita kita.

53. Nasaan ka kagabi? Wala ka kasi sa panaginip ko.

54. Nasa impyerno na ba ako? Coz you're so HOT!

55. Gusto ko nang mamatay, para makasama na ang anghel na tulad mo!

56. (Name of girl), sa dinadami ng babaeng dumaan sa buhay ko, ni isa wala pa akong minahal. Kung sakali ngayon pa lang, isang bagay lang ang ikinakatakot ko.. Ang malamang mahal mo na ako pero may kapiling na akong iba.

57. Hindi ka ba napapagod, kasi kanina ka pa takbo ng takbo sa utak ko.

58. Napaos na naman ako sa kakasigaw ng pangalan mo.

59. Uy, question? Can you recommend a good banker where I can make a
deposit? Coz I'm planning to save all my love for you.

60. May free time ka ba? Samahan mo naman ako sa psychiatrist. Magdala daw
kasi ako ng kinababaliwan ko.

61. Oi bukas sisingilin na kita ng renta ha, kasi matagal ka ng nakatira sa
puso ko.

62. Excuse me. Kung dederetchohin ko ba ang daan na ito, dederetcho ba ito
sa puso mo?

63. Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzles noh? Kasi kakasimula pa lang ng araw
ko binubuo mo na.

64. Exam ka ba? Kasi gustong gusto na kitang i-take home eh.

65. Uy sabi ng doctor malala na daw ang sakit ko sa puso. Dalawa na lang
daw ang option: either ICU or you see me.

66. Ibibili kita ng salbabida, kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko.

67. Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight, o gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?

68. Kung bola ka at ako ang player, mashoo-shoot ba kita? Hindi, kasi lagi
kitang mamimiss.

69. Wag kang maooffend ha, pero sa tingin ko, magnanakaw ang mga magulang
mo. Ninakaw lahat ng bituin sa langit at inilagay sa mga mata mo.

70. Ms., cardiologist ka ba? Pwede mo po bang alagaan ang puso ko?

71. Nakakatakot di ba ang multo? Pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa
buhay ko.

Unreal..................


These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
____________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

--- And the best for last: ---

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

PARIS—Here are the weird, wild and wonderful stories from 2009.

Anti-graft officials in the Nepalese capital Kathmandu found a way to literally stop airport workers from pocketing bribes. They issued them with pocketless trousers.

A Norwegian man landed himself in hot water when police caught him having sex with his girlfriend as he raced at over 130 kilometers per hour through a 100-kph zone on a highway near Oslo.

Old technology came to the aid of the new in a Brazilian prison where guards found that inmates were getting mobile phones flown in to them strapped to carrier pigeons.

Life imitated fiction when paid-for copies of George Orwell’s book “1984” were mysteriously deleted from the Amazon company’s new electronic reading device. Apologizing, the firm said it had not been emulating Orwell’s sinister “Big Brother,” but had simply realized that it didn’t have the rights to sell the title.

An 11-month-old boy accidentally dialed an emergency number while playing with a house telephone in the Canadian province of British Columbia. When police arrived, they arrested the boy’s father who was growing marijuana plants in his home.

Higher milk production

Farmers who pay individual attention to their cows, notably by giving them names, are rewarded with higher milk production, a team at Newcastle University in England said, quoting the results of a poll.

Tired of seeing his parishioners give weird and wonderful names to their offspring, a Catholic priest in Croatia offered monetary rewards worth around 135 euros ($195) to anyone who chose good old-fashioned monikers such as Lana, Petra, Luka or Karlo.

“There’s probably no God—now stop worrying and enjoy your life,” proclaimed an ad campaign backed by atheists and aimed at London commuters. Religious groups were not amused, but the advertising standards body ruled that the posters were acceptable.

For several hours, a publicity stunt mesmerized US networks as they scrambled to broadcast live footage of the flying-saucer shaped balloon feared to be carrying a 6-year-old boy. The parents later admitted that it was a hoax perpetrated in a bid to land their own reality television show.

Victimized by violence

A group of Greek anarchists organized a collection to rebuild the newspaper kiosk of a 74-year-old woman that had burned down during a riot they were involved in. “We should support a fellow human being victimized by violence,” said the group, which collected 13,000 euros (19,000 dollars) for the woman.

A British academic who spent seven years collecting the dung of rare lizards in the Philippines was devastated when a cleanup team threw it out of his laboratory with the trash. “To some people it might have been just lizard shit … but to me it represented years of painstaking work,” he said.

Fans of a baseball team in the Japanese city of Osaka scoured a river to pull out a statue of the US fast-food icon Colonel Sanders that they had thrown into it 25 years before. They had hurled the object into the water in honor of a successful player who they said looked like the good colonel—but ever since they did so, their team’s fortunes had plummeted. Recovered from the mud, the figure was duly blessed in a Shinto ceremony.

Irish police were scratching their heads to find out how a single Polish driver whose name had been recorded as “Prawo Jazdy” could have chalked up so many traffic offenses—until they realized that the phrase simply meant “Driving License” in Polish.

Red-faced Americans

Hoping to symbolize a new era in US-Russian relations, US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton handed what was billed as a “reset” button to her Russian counterpart Sergei Lavrov. But the Americans were red-faced when they realized that the Russian word printed on the large red device actually meant “overload.”

A Hong Kong financial journalist was so overcome with emotion when the shares of HSBC bank plunged 24 percent at the close of trading that she burst into tears while on the air. She later explained that she was upset at the consequences for small investors, and did not hold shares herself.

The local council of a village in southeast England decided not to repair the many potholes in their roads because they forced drivers to go more slowly. The safety-conscious councilors were overruled by a regional body.

A 34-year-old Briton beat off over 30,000 competitors to win what Australian officials touted as the “best job in the world”—spending six months as a caretaker on a tropical island of the Great Barrier Reef.

‘Busts 4 Justice’

A British woman won a famous victory—and lots of publicity—in forcing a supermarket chain to stop charging more for large sizes of bras than for smaller ones. The group she founded on the Facebook Internet site was called “Busts 4 Justice.”

One of dozens of British members of Parliament caught up in a scandal over illegal claims for expenses had to admit that he had been reimbursed by taxpayers for installing an ornamental duck house on his private estate. Announcing his resignation, he had to admit that the ducks had not even liked the thing.

Australian officials in charge of handing out cash as part of an economic stimulus plan accidentally credited the accounts of 16,000 people who were no longer living. Local media dubbed the beneficiaries “the grateful dead.” Agence France-Presse

A girl quickly punches a number into her phone and waits until she hears the other line pick up.

“Becky, I don’t know what to do, I really don’t. I love him so much and I don’t think he thinks of me that way. I mean, whenever I see him or think of him, I can’t help it, this smile comes across my face. Sometimes he sees me smiling and smiles back. That’s when my knees turn to jello and I get butterflies in my stomach. I know you think that he’s is so totally adorable and cute, but if you look past that and actually listen to what he has to say, you find a totally different person. He’s so caring and considerate and he makes me feel like I don’t deserve him. Well, actually, I don’t deserve him. He’s too perfect, I mean, look at all the girls that fall over for him. I could never be one of those. Their all so pretty and bubbly and….. not me. I couldn’t even start to compare myself to them. But whenever I think of him or see him, I can’t help it, I smile. Now I didn’t tell you this but he called me the other day about homework. I tell you now, I made a complete fool of myself. I’m so embarrassed. I stuttered the whole time, but he was so sweet and just kept talking and making me feel better. He’s so perfect Becky, I don’t deserve him, so why do I keep wishing and praying that he will notice me, why?............Becky? Becky are you there?”

“This isn’t Becky.”

Petrified the girl asks, “Then who is this?”

“ This is the guy who’s smile turns your knees to jello and I just wanted to say one thing. Everything you just said now, I’ve been wanting to say since the day I met you.”